Liberated!!

Today was Liberation Day -- had my had "buzzed" and one wig styled.  Talk about opposites -- the wig has much more hair than I've had in years, LOL, and the buzz cut -- well, that speaks for himself.  Ken saw the buzz tonight and his response was, "hey, that's how Bill and I wore our hair as kids."  I can't believe they used to wear it this short.   Kala, my hairdresser, buzzed my head rather than totally shaving it, leaving maybe 1/16" of hair to fall out on its own in the next few days.  More than half of it is gray (who's surprised) and  maybe 30 to 40 percent dark hair in the back and on the crown.  All I see when I look in the mirror, though, is some gray fuzz.  Haha.  I cannot tell you how liberating it feels to have no hair to worry about falling out in clumps.  As I had read and heard from others traveling this path, YOU have the power when you decide the right time to lose the hair -- the cancer does not have the power any longer!!

Getting used to the wig may be harder than my "skinhead."  This wig is beautiful but so much more hair than I've had in years.  I love the color -- marble brown -- a little darker than my hair has usually been the last fews years (minus a bad dye job or two), especially after the hair color would fade.  No fading now!!  I've ordered another wig which should be here on Tuesday -- same color, shorter, more "saucy" style.  I have not tried this particular style on before, so this will be a gamble to see what it looks like on me. 

I have a feeling that I'll wear the turbans, scarves, doo-rags that I've amassed probably more than the wigs anyway.  They are way more comfortable.  The wigs will be for church and going places where I'll be around people who do not know what I'm going through. 

Funny story:  Last night Ken brought Bo in for the night after walking her.  She ran in the bedroom where I was.  I had one of my scarves on my head (wore it to church, even).  Bo would not settle down like she usually does, but continually ran in and out of the room.  We couldn't figure out what was going on.  We finally realized that she was looking at the styrofoam wig head on my dresser and was freaking out!!   Just the empty wig head -- no wig.  Ken threw the thing in his closet, shut the door, and immediately Bo came in laid down in her usual spot in the bedroom and was ready for bed!!!  We just attributed her behavior to her being such a goofy dog (but loveable).  But when I was telling this to my hairdresser(s) today, before I could even finish the story, they both told me that their dogs had reacted the same way to wig heads in their homes.  So, I guess maybe Bo isn't quite as neurotic as we thought.  She hasn't seen the wig sitting on the wig head yet, so who knows how she will react tonight when she comes in.  LOL

Ken doesn't seem to freaked out by my lack of hair, so I may go totally "au naturale" around the house.  My first reaction when I saw my buzzed head was, "Oh, my goodness, I look just like Dadaw" (my dad), which is totally shocking because I have never, ever felt like I looked anything like either one of my parents.  But I definitely did a double take when I looked in the mirror because staring back at me was my daddy -- especially since he's been in the nursing home and getting "buzz cuts" regularly there.  And as I have already mentioned in early posts on this blog, he and I share that big "Holt head"!! 

Love you all!!

Rachel